Titanic Vs. Lord of the Rings

I ripped this off ACF. My God, I must be warped but I found this so hysterical.

As posted at TheOnering.net:

http://www.theonering.net/rumour_mi...F0005BE17C.html

10 REASONS WHY TITANNIC IS BETTER THAN LORD OF THE RIGNS

by Rambo Rick

10. Their is no such thing as a town of mijets. I know mijets and theyre family is not all mijet like them. A village oif mijets is not realistic. What is making everyoe mijet? Were all the mijets sent too this village? Their are no mijets in Titannic because mijets don't like to ride boats. They like the circus.

9. Titannic is original and Lord of the rings is a rip off. I saw Willow when I was in middle school Titaniic is not a rip off of willo. Lord of the Rings is a willow. Willo has a mijet town and the mijet goes to get rid of the baby. No one lets him get rid of the baby and he finds a magic goat and the scary queen from Snow White chases the midjet and tires to kill the goat. Maybe the mijets are cousins of the dwarfs. There are dwarfs and mijets in Lord of the Rings soi it makes no sense.

8. Too many gay mijets in Lord of the rings. Why are all the mijets gay? Frodo is gay and kisses the fat mijet on the head. I would kick the **** out of any gay mijet that tried to kiss me on the head. That's how they give you gay. No damn gay mijet is going to give me gay.

7. The bad guy in titanic is an jealous man who doesn't like Rose chainsg Dicaprio. The bad guy in Lord of the Rings is an eyeball and it is on fire. Why be afraid of an eyeball. That is like being afraid of a old woman on fire in a weel chair. Ha Ha! Stupid old woman! Come get me! I got the ring! You are on fire and just sit there! You are not scary you are on fire! that is what the ball is like it just sits there on fire and doesn't do nothing. Stpid eyeball. The iceberg is not on fire and it chases the boat and hits it and makes it sink. The eyeball is stupid it doesnt chase anybody/

6. JAmes cmaeron finished his movie in 3 hours but they took many hours to finish Lord of the Rings. Titannic was long but good. IT takes all day to watch the lord of the rings and thats too long to be watching gay mijets.

7. There is a love story in Titanic about love and teenagers who like love. Jack loves on Rose and loves her hard. The only love in Lord of the Rings is the gay mijets who cry alot and kiss each other on the head.

8. Nobody dies in Lord of the rings, everybody dies in Titannic. There are n9ie chaeracters in Lord if the Rings and they all live. The wuzard who alls down a cliff and comes back as jesus lives. Frodo the gay mijet lives. Sam who is not gay and is cool he is alos in a football movie so of course he is not gay he lives. Merrey who has a gay name he lives. And the most gay of all is Pippin who just sounds like a gay. Hi I am Pippin! Can you tell Im a gay? HA HA !! Then there is a dwarf who is like a mijet only not gay, and a blond gay vulcan who can shoot good with his bow and arrow and is love with the dwarf, and then there is Aragoren who could get liad, like, every day. His horse even likes to kiss him.

9. Titanic could happen. Lord of the Rings could not happen. They made a movie out of stuff that nobody could do. There are no giant dumbos and vulcans and trees dont talk and no wizards and none of this stuff is real. Titanic is all real. Rich people are all like Billy Zane and wear mascara and hate poor people.

10. Titanic is a movie about how we get lied to by rich people and why they suck. LOTR is about people who get a dickted to a ring that mjust be laced with crack or something. All you have to do is touch the ring and you get a dickted it is like cigarets or Pokemon. Another guy gets shot because he's a dickted to the ring and tries to steal it from Frodo the gay mijet. He gets sad and then gets shot. This is a good moment because it shows how it is not good to get a dickted. Then Aragoren shows up and he must have caught gay from the gay mijet Frodo because he kisses the shot guy on the head. There are too many anti drugg movies out there. every day at school they sday dont do drugs dont do drugs and yet every morning I have to swallow lots of drugs because they are brain vitamins.

So don't watch lord of the rings watch Titanic That's my closing statement watch Titannic. Lord of the Ring is a STUPID HA! HA!

"RAMBO" RICK
Film Critic, Alhambra High Star Gazette