What the fuck man

My mom came over here for dinner and to open gifts before she goes back to Florida.

I talked to her the day before yesterday and told her explicitly that what she was doing was wrong, about not letting Aunt Judy know whats up. While we were here, I wanted to ask her about Judy's reaction to her news but the appropriate timing never occured.

After my mom left, I called Aunt Judy to let her know my plans for when I was going to visit next. Long phone conversation short, my mother still hasnt told Judy her plans. Judy was quizzing me as to why Kevin wasnt around with my mom when she went to Judy's yesterday. I told her honestly that he was still in Florida.

This is wrong. I'm so upset. My mom told me that the neighbor who was watching the cats mixed up who was who and let the girl out (who isnt fixed) and kept the boy inside (who also isnt fix). Needless to say, the girl is probably pregnant and the boy sprayed all over the house.

I'm pretty certain the house is in shambles at this point. Between the frozen pipes, and a mainly outdoor cat stuck inside for two+ weeks, and my mom going through boxes and bags to pack haphazardly, I dont even want ot imagine what the damage has been done.

I'm so upset. I dont want to lie for my mom. She's messing up so bad right now. Dammit.

Mommy Dearest

So here I sit, after two totally draining days. I dont talk about this, with anyone, ever because they always ask me questions that I cant answer.

It starts with my great grandmother. I can remember being a really little kid, and she would tell me the weirdest stuff. She told me how a woman gets pregnant when I was 4, the whole 9 yards. I dont remember the details but I remember beings scared that I was pregnant because I'd danced with my mother's boyfriend.

I guess it doesnt really start there, exactly. My great grandmother used to drink a lot and she never had good eyesight. She went totally blind around age 40 and was dependant on her husband, whom she constantly accused of cheating on her. Once she shot at him. A blind woman, shooting a gun in the general direction of her husband at 3am. Luckily, she didnt hit anything and he escaped through the bathroom window. She had two loaded pistols til the day she died.

My grandmother has something wrong with her too. I mean, if you look past her self centeredness, she has something wrong with her inside, that just adds to the insanity. I remember we came up for a visit once, after having lived in Florida for a few years and my mother went and had dinner with a family friend. My grandmother went into screaming fits about it because she hadnt been invited. She ranted and raved about how they were stabbing her in the back and this and that. It was pretty intense. I really expected her to produce a butcher knife at any moment and start hacking away.

I could fill up a blog about their antics, this was just a way to get my point across, that there is something wrong with them. Normal people dont do those things. When I was younger we always used to joke about the Hazel curse. Hazel is my great grandmother's maiden name. My mom and I would laugh and say that we werent going to go crazy like they did but deep down I guess I knew something was wrong even then.

Mom has always been a strong figure to me. Iron willed, always ready to fight the good fight, and she never let other people bring her down. The person who called me yesterday was scaring the crap out of me. She was weepy, upset, nothing could really console her. She was talking herself in and out of things.

For the past 6 months I've really felt there was a downward spiral in her behavior. Her actions and thoughts were more erratic, she never had a good thing to say about herself. My mother has never been one to be a fan of people, but lately this has gotten extreme. She wont go out and talk to anybody except the neighbors and thats only because they live next door and are busy bodies. She doesnt even go out of the house anymore except for work. Not even to the grocery store because her work has all of that stuff and she just buys it there before going home. She wont talk on the phone to anybody hardly. Only me once a month and even then its never a good conversation. I never hang up feeling happy.

My mother finally admitted to me last night that she needs professional help. I tried to talk to my mom about moving here instead of Florida and she wont hear of it. For some reason Florida is like Shagri-La to her and I cant change her mind. Maybe its selfish of me to want her not to move to Florida. I just feel like I cant help her as much as if she were here.

My mom keeps saying she has more options down there. And, thats not really true. She thinks she has more options but really its more of the same old same old. I really am scared for her. Yesterday it was like she was breaking down on the phone. I told her I would come up there to see her but she refused. I told her I wanted to help her, and she said no that she had to do this on her own. I guess she has some notion that since I'm the kid I cant see her weak and she isnt backing down off that one. What a horrible time to get stubborn.

But what would I do, really? What would I say that would fix it. Nothing. But my mommy is hurting and I just want to fix her.

I was numb all day today. I really just stared at the TV. I dont even know why I'm blogging. To get it off my chest I guess. Maybe so Lili will see why I havent been giving our situation the proper attention. Who cares.

Its raining.. oh no wait is pouring!

So I woke up this morning to find a good portion of my guild left last night. I dont know what happened, I dont know who was involved, I just know who left. Of all the things that could happen to me as a guild leader I think people just up and leaving before I have a chance to repair the situation is the worst. No matter who is wrong or right, leaving without giving me a chance or warning stinks. I'm sure you all are saying, "Its the internet, who cares?" Well, mostly thats true. It is easier for me to turn off my PC and call it a night, except when it comes down to something as personal as my guild. I choose people who I like, and have fun with and think will make good additions to the guild. I (usually) put a lot of time and effort into the guild, and care about the people who play with me. To have someone leave in that way makes me feel betrayed.

I was getting over that, working through things in my little brain when my mother called. "Hi, my name is Ally and I'm psychic! I predicted everything that would happen to my mother when she got down there for her 'visit.'"

The house she was supposed to live in didnt come through. Kevin's dad decided to sell it, instead. She stayed the entire time with a friend who has multiple, serious health problems. Lung cancer, back surgeries, the whole nine yards. This person is depressed, ill, and could very possibly die and my mother is depending on her for a roof over her head? Oh, I forgot the best part. Red (Kevin's Dad) wanted my mother and my 9 year old sister to share a house with Kevin's brother, who just got out of a 19 year prison sentence for killing his wife. I'm all for people changing, but the man just got out of prison, there is no way my mother can let him live with her daughter. What kind of idiot even suggests that?

Kevin was working for this friends' husband, who has a history of not paying Kevin on time, or the right amount. Mother says, "Oh Diane is working down at the shop and they're using new computer programs to keep records and pricing." Uh huh. Diane, with the lung cancer, and the back surgery is going to make sure that Kevin gets paid, even if she needs that money for medical bills? Tell me another one Ma!

So Kevin is getting shafted into the $2k range already, and is selling his vehicle so they can pay my aunt rent. "This guy" is supposed to give him cash today or tomorrow and Kevin is driving a van that Red (his dad that welshed on the house) has "sold" him, even though no money/title has exchanged hands.

The pipes froze, so mother has no water up here. She also has no heat, because the heater that was acting up last winter is now completely broken. Instead of fixing the heater over the winter, she just crossed her fingers and hoped it didnt break down this year.

She asked me for money, for a loan. Thank God Steve and I can handle that. I know she hated asking, I know she hates that its coming from Steve but I am so thankful that we can help her. We can spare a good amount, and pay for February's rent for Judy. I know that will come. A car will break down, or Red will take the van Kevin is using, or my mom wont get as much on her tax return as she expects, the usual. And we'll pay the rent, because I wont have Judy angry that my mother screwed her out of money.

My mom didnt tell Judy that she was thinking of moving down there, you know. Whenever Judy called me, it was clear that my mother hadnt told her. She was so busy trying not to get screwed over my mother is going wind up screwing Judy.

Its so weird to know that this would have been my life. That I would have made similar choices, that I would have let things go until it was an emergency to fix them. I still do that, but atleast I have Steve to point out when I'm following that pattern and to get me back on track. I am so blessed. I am so thankful that I can help my mother. I just wish she would open her eyes and see what she does.

There's a lot more I could blog about, and I probably will later. Now, I've got to get my head screwed on straight and deal with the rest of my day.

Diamonds are a .... kitty's best friend?

I dont have jewelry really. I'm not big into wearing it. I have four pieces that I wear on special occasions that Steve bought for me. My diamond engagment ring, my diamond tennis bracelet, my diamond earrings (noticing a trend here?) and my diamond pendant necklace. All very elegant and understated. I took it off yesterday to clean it before I went out, they were looking pretty dull. I cleaned, rinsed and set them aside on the bed to dry. When I came out of the bathroom I saw Pita on the bed, chewing on something. He was chewing on my engagement ring! The dumb shit was going to break a tooth. I picked up the jewelry and he followed me, trying to get at the necklace and bracelet. I had to put the jewelry up high where he couldnt reach it. The day before that, I'd taken off my necklace and left it on the nightstand and he was playing with it til he knocked the necklace off the nightstand and couldnt get to it. Spooky's done something like that before, too. I was dozing on the couch and I woke up to her chewing on the ring on my finger. That was quite confusing, and I mean she wasnt nibbling daintily or anything she was chewing. Weirdos.

Let's see. Christmas Eve was amazing. The best yet. Cris and Hank and Jennifer came over early, and we exchanged gifts before we went out to eat. We had reservations at the Chart House, which is a really swanky restaurant in Alexandria, right on the waterfront. Since our reservations were so early (4:15) nobody was fighting for the window seats and we got one easily. 4:15 was the perfect time to come, we watched the sunset and got to see all of the lights in the dark, we werent elbow to elbow with everyone, the food came out fast and the waitress had more time to spend on us. The food was delicious too. I thought about getting the Alaskan King Crab leg, I really wanted too as a matter of fact but I am quite the messy crab eater and I didtn want to wind up with crab juice all over my shirt, hehe. Oh and I had caviar. Let me just say, "yuck." You might as well dye some grits black, add tuna juice and oodles of salt and there you have it, caviar. After dinner we drove through some neighborhoods and saw Christmas lights. It was beautiful.

Christmas day was another story. Amy (God I'm beginning to hate that name) made plans with Tita, Cris, and Vena (a cousin) to go to Bob and Dora's house. Quick family tree recap. Cris is Steve's mom, and Tita Dory and Oring are her sisters. Bob is Tita's son, and Dora is her daughter in law. Vena is Oring's daughter that lives in New Jersey. At the last minute, Amy went to Wisconsin instead. Her father in law is going to pass of lung cancer. Vena canceled, since Amy wasnt going to be there. Nice to know who she's really coming to visit. Meow. So me, Cris, Hank and Steve got stuck going to Bob and Dora's house. They live an hour away, in BFE so Steve starts hemming and hawing. When I told him that Cris told me we were having Christmas at Bob and Dora's he's like, "why didnt you tell her no?" WTF. But, Steve commutes everyday and is working his second job again. I told him he didnt have to go to Bob and Dora's if he didnt want too, and I didnt have to say it twice. So now, its me, Cris, and Hank on Christmas day, driving down I-95 to Bob and Dora's. Traffic wasnt half the nightmare I expected it to be, I guess that was a bonus.

Bob and Dora are nice people, I shouldnt be so petty about having to go over there. Its just, not where I wanted to be Christmas day. Whatever. They're family, I sucked it up.

After awhile it came time to open gifts. Now, I am not a gifty person. I like opening presents but I am appeased with anything that shows someone was paying attention. I dont expect $150 Chanel scarves (nor do I want) but anything that shows they tried, that they put some thought and effort into the gift. My mom and aunt Judy shop thrift stores and dollar stores for stuff for me and always manage to find something I enjoyed. This year I was pretty sick from Thanksgiving on, between the cold and the back pain but I took my ass out and went and looked for gifts for them. Truthfully I didnt spend that much on Tita and Dora, probably around $12 each but they got nice, useful stuff. I gave Tita a pretty glass bowl that she can put fruit or a candle, anything to make a centerpiece from it, and two small casserole dishes so she doesnt have to make a big meal for her and Al, she can make a smaller portion. Bob and Dora got the same glass bowl in a different color, and two clear glass vases that were very nice. I didnt spend a lot of money on either of them, but those were things they liked and could use. Do you know what I got from them? Bob and Dora gave me a box of chocolate, and Tita gave me some shitty powder she got free at her work, and an opened bottle of perfume. Oh, I got a purse too but its something Cris picked out for me and made Tita give me so that doesnt count.

Christmas is a celebration of Jesus Christ's birth. Its not about the gifts but about appreciation, about setting time aside for your family that otherwise you might be too busy to do. Gifts should be a reflection of the appreciation. Not the biggest, the most expensive, the best brand name but something simple that shows you care and are thinking of them. Shit even Jennifer gave me a better gift than Bob and Dora and Tita and she's only 16. She gave me too pretty blankets to match my couches. Cris gave me a wallet type thing, to replace the one that was getting ratty, she gave me a blue necklace and earrings, because she knows my favorite color is blue, and a glass bowl to build a set I'm buying. Nothing expensive or pricey but things to show she was paying attention.

I shouldnt complain, my life is blessed so far beyond some shitty christmas gifts. This is totally petty of me and I'll never speak of it again, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Someone dinged my car

MAN.

I noticed this Tuesday but I didnt calm down about until today. Coming out of Hank and Cris's house I saw a good 3" crease down the back side of the car. They must have nailed it pretty good too, my car is not made of fiberglass its made of steel.

I realize that my car is older and not worth very much money but it's my car. It's my thing that I take care of. Oil changes, tire rotations and other maintainences. And along comes some jackass in a car that's too big for them to be driving (otherwise they wouldnt have hit my car). And it was either an SUV, a big honking truck or an older conversion van because of the height of the ding.

I really am irritated. There is such a lack of respect for other people and their things in this country. Once upon a time if you borrowed something from someone you gave it back in the same condition you lent it in. People went out of their way to take care of a borrowed item. Now, dont bother lending something if you want it back. You either get it back in shitty condition, or you dont get it back at all.

This totally falls under The Meaning of Life post I made awhile back. Dont be a piece of shit car dinger and not even have the courtesy to leave a note. I wouldnt call the insurance agency, christmas its only a ding but an "I'm sorry, here's my number if we need to settle up" would suffice.

But, in the spirit of trying to be a better me, I forgive you, jackass, where ever you are and I hope your holidays bring you joy, and that nobody dings your car.

Jackass.

Stolen from Brenda, who stole it from....

Three names you go by:
Ally
Alize
Sloe Gin Fizz

Three screennames you have:
Allerielle

Three things you like about yourself:
My sincerity
My perpetual good mood
My silliness

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My weight
My procrastination
My complicated family

Three parts of your heritage:
Gypsy
Italian
Irish

Three things that scare you:
Losing Steve
Being assaulted
Gaining more weight

Three of your everyday essentials:
Petting my cats (yes thats kooky but they calm me down)
World of Warcraft
Shower

Three things you are wearing right now:
My Engagement Ring (marquis cut diamond, gold band)
Black hair clip
Tshirt that Steve wore yesterday so it smells like him (I'm a dork)

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Seven Mary Three
Shania Twain
Nine Inch Nails

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Trace Adkins - Rough and Ready
Seven Mary Three - Without You Feels
Sevendust - Licking Cream

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Playing Piano
Learning Phillipino
Photography

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Fidelity
Stability
Laughter

Two truths and a lie:
I spent a month in Switzerland
I've broken 6 bones and had 7 hospital trips in my lifetime
I had a motorcycle fall on my leg when I was a kid

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
Hands
Eyebrows
Voice

Three things you just can't do:
Portion my food
Clean my house in the morning before I screw off
Keep my mouth shut when I should

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Playing World of Warcraft (sad I know)
Gabbing with friends
Cooking

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Play World of Warcraft
Eat a big breakfast from Bob Evans
Crawl back into bed.

Three careers you're considering:
Teacher
Personnel Management
Business Owner

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Greece
Japan (fiance was born there, we've discussed going back to visit)
New Orleans

Three kids names:
If I ever have children I only want two and their names will be:
Emily Elizabeth
Caleb Michael

Three things you want to do before you die:
Learn another language
Scuba Dive
Learn to play an instrument

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Lilija
Partydawg
Tito

More than you ever wanted to know about me, I'm sure.

You wascally wabbit!

Hank (Steve's dad) bought two rabbits. Amy and Tony are in Wisconsin, Tony's dad is dying of cancer and they took the kids with them. Something tells me its not going to be a very cheerful christmas up there so the rabbits will be a nice surprise when they get home. He bought a boy and a girl (we think) so hopefully they'll breed. Nicolas and Savannah were crazy for the baby chicks this spring, they love life. Its amazing. Hank has plans to get two goats too. He grew up on a farm, though. A southern, working farm with pigs and cows and chickens and gardens and the like. I think he's just tickled to have the room for all of these animals. I dont think they'll get a cow or anything that big but the goats and rabbits and chickens are close enough. He even has a little vegetable garden. Anyway, the girl rabbit is a beautiful gray color and the boy is just adorable. He's a medium brown on his back and shoulders and head, but the farther down on his body the lighter the brown gets til his belly which is all white. Man, he is adorable!

Yesterday Cris and I went out for the first time in ages. We sat in Chili's for two hours almost just talking. We wore ourselves out from talking so we just went home. I went out with them to dinner, since Steve was working late. We went to this buffet place called Wok n Roll. HA! And, the food was awesome. I dont like buffets because they always suck and they're never clean but this place had good food and was cleaner than most. They had a sushi bar, that was actually good. Hank took some wasabi and mixed it with some soy sauce, and he's like "try that." Like I never had wasabi before, he was expecting my eyes to bug out. I knew what I was getting myself into and my eyes still watered, hehe. Luckily wasabi doesnt stay with you, it goes pretty fast unlike Mexican food. That stays with you the rest of the day, heh. Cris and I went out again today, to finish up what we didnt get to yesterday. We braved WalMart. Or should I say, "Hellmart." Unfortunately, it couldnt be avoided. It only took us 20min to check out rather than the full 30 so I guess we got lucky. *roll eyes*

The Nutcracker Suite and Ostriches

To start this off, I havent written in awhile because I've been trying to catch up with my life. I was sick since Thanksgiving, although I finally got the sniffles and congestion to go with it two weeks ago. It was a nice vindication, "See! I really am sick!" The week following that (last week) as I was just getting over my cold, flu, whatever, I started having serious back pain. It felt like a muscle but usually when you pull a muscle, you're aware of it, immediately. I started out a little uncomfortable in the morning and by lunch I was miserable. My back still hurts a little but atleast I can function.

I finally put up the Christmas decorations last Thursday, and finished shopping yesterday. Man, what a slacker am I. All of my grand plans to be done before Decemeber 1st went straight down the toilet, heh. So, I am done with Christmas presents. I just need to finish my mother's birthday present. Her birthday was the 9th but she's been in Florida scoping things out, so I havent seen her and wont until a few days after Christmas. I started this magnificent horse bust over a year ago, in Ceramics class and never finished it. I base painted it a medium gray and have been dry brushing white over it. I'm going to make the bridle a bright red, basically I'm matching the bust to a puzzle of a horse stamp she's had for eons. The bust is seriously going to be awesome when I finish it. It stands about 9" high, its all very grand looking.

Just because I've finished buying doesnt mean I've finished wrapping, heh. My kitched table and some of the floor has been taken over with boxes, bags, tissue paper, wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, name tags. It looks like part of Michael's exploded in there hehe. I've got to Christmas Eve to get it all wrapped and I'm milking every second.

So, Steve and I talked it over and we decided it was time to get rid of some of our older, worn out decorations and buy a few new ones. I told him I was going to go look in JoAnn Fabrics and he got this look on his face and rolled his eyes. But, I won that conversation because that's where I got all of our Thanksgiving decorations the day after Halloween for 75% off. And, he loved those Thanksgiving decorations. When I reminded him how much he liked them, he was like, "oh, okay." HA! HA I say! I WIN!

I was at JoAnn Fabrics and really, they had the nicest stuff. Apparently this year's theme colors were an Ivory white and a really soft, almost baby green. The whole thing was gorgeous, really, but those colors are so unusual I dont think I could find a lot of decorations in the years coming to match it or recycle it out so I passed over them. Besides, we're definitely not "white" kind of people. We're messy and we ding things and we dont always put things away properly. Color is definitely the way to go. I picked up some nice ornaments but the prize for the day was a Nativity set. It caught my eye almost immediately and I just couldnt let it go. Finally I decided that I was going to buy it. Its actually made out of pottery so the colors have been thrown, which made them amazing. Since its pottery too, everything is a little abstract. Like, they arent trying to make the Virgin Mary look exactly like everyone pictures her, I dunno its weird to describe. Anyway, I was so pleased with that dang thing I kept looking at it the rest of the day. The best part was that Steve liked it too, hehe. The figures are about 6"-7" tall so its pretty big. It fits perfectly on the open counter that separates the kitchen and the living room.

As for the title of today's blog, I was watching The Nutcracker Suite last night. I've always appreciated classical music, and ballet and plays and musicals and the like, but last night was different. I guess I just appreciated what a beautiful story was being told. While I was watching, I was thinking to myself, "what talent, what awesome amazing talent." The set and scenary changed, and out came the ballerinas in a more traditional tu-tu skirt and I was thinking to myself, "with their impossibly long, impossibly skinny legs, and the way the skirt fluffs, they look like ostriches." I have the utmost respect for someone who can give their lives to a dying craft, and I could never ever do what they do but still, they looked like ostriches from the waist down.

Before I forget, I went out to tea with Karen last week. That was a new experience and seriously I loved it. I must be crazy. We had a fun time, laughed and vented and the food was amazing. We've made plans to have a tea party at home and make horribly tacky hats to wear. I'm excited though, it will give me a chance to use all of the tea sets that Steve has here. They are so lovely, and so old. But I know that Karen appreciates their value, and will do her best to not break anything so I feel safe bringing them out.

Titanic Vs. Lord of the Rings

I ripped this off ACF. My God, I must be warped but I found this so hysterical.

As posted at TheOnering.net:

http://www.theonering.net/rumour_mi...F0005BE17C.html

10 REASONS WHY TITANNIC IS BETTER THAN LORD OF THE RIGNS

by Rambo Rick

10. Their is no such thing as a town of mijets. I know mijets and theyre family is not all mijet like them. A village oif mijets is not realistic. What is making everyoe mijet? Were all the mijets sent too this village? Their are no mijets in Titannic because mijets don't like to ride boats. They like the circus.

9. Titannic is original and Lord of the rings is a rip off. I saw Willow when I was in middle school Titaniic is not a rip off of willo. Lord of the Rings is a willow. Willo has a mijet town and the mijet goes to get rid of the baby. No one lets him get rid of the baby and he finds a magic goat and the scary queen from Snow White chases the midjet and tires to kill the goat. Maybe the mijets are cousins of the dwarfs. There are dwarfs and mijets in Lord of the Rings soi it makes no sense.

8. Too many gay mijets in Lord of the rings. Why are all the mijets gay? Frodo is gay and kisses the fat mijet on the head. I would kick the **** out of any gay mijet that tried to kiss me on the head. That's how they give you gay. No damn gay mijet is going to give me gay.

7. The bad guy in titanic is an jealous man who doesn't like Rose chainsg Dicaprio. The bad guy in Lord of the Rings is an eyeball and it is on fire. Why be afraid of an eyeball. That is like being afraid of a old woman on fire in a weel chair. Ha Ha! Stupid old woman! Come get me! I got the ring! You are on fire and just sit there! You are not scary you are on fire! that is what the ball is like it just sits there on fire and doesn't do nothing. Stpid eyeball. The iceberg is not on fire and it chases the boat and hits it and makes it sink. The eyeball is stupid it doesnt chase anybody/

6. JAmes cmaeron finished his movie in 3 hours but they took many hours to finish Lord of the Rings. Titannic was long but good. IT takes all day to watch the lord of the rings and thats too long to be watching gay mijets.

7. There is a love story in Titanic about love and teenagers who like love. Jack loves on Rose and loves her hard. The only love in Lord of the Rings is the gay mijets who cry alot and kiss each other on the head.

8. Nobody dies in Lord of the rings, everybody dies in Titannic. There are n9ie chaeracters in Lord if the Rings and they all live. The wuzard who alls down a cliff and comes back as jesus lives. Frodo the gay mijet lives. Sam who is not gay and is cool he is alos in a football movie so of course he is not gay he lives. Merrey who has a gay name he lives. And the most gay of all is Pippin who just sounds like a gay. Hi I am Pippin! Can you tell Im a gay? HA HA !! Then there is a dwarf who is like a mijet only not gay, and a blond gay vulcan who can shoot good with his bow and arrow and is love with the dwarf, and then there is Aragoren who could get liad, like, every day. His horse even likes to kiss him.

9. Titanic could happen. Lord of the Rings could not happen. They made a movie out of stuff that nobody could do. There are no giant dumbos and vulcans and trees dont talk and no wizards and none of this stuff is real. Titanic is all real. Rich people are all like Billy Zane and wear mascara and hate poor people.

10. Titanic is a movie about how we get lied to by rich people and why they suck. LOTR is about people who get a dickted to a ring that mjust be laced with crack or something. All you have to do is touch the ring and you get a dickted it is like cigarets or Pokemon. Another guy gets shot because he's a dickted to the ring and tries to steal it from Frodo the gay mijet. He gets sad and then gets shot. This is a good moment because it shows how it is not good to get a dickted. Then Aragoren shows up and he must have caught gay from the gay mijet Frodo because he kisses the shot guy on the head. There are too many anti drugg movies out there. every day at school they sday dont do drugs dont do drugs and yet every morning I have to swallow lots of drugs because they are brain vitamins.

So don't watch lord of the rings watch Titanic That's my closing statement watch Titannic. Lord of the Ring is a STUPID HA! HA!

"RAMBO" RICK
Film Critic, Alhambra High Star Gazette

If looks could kill

I would so be toast right now. Pita is unnnn-happy. He was glad to see me for as long as it took to get from the vet's to our house, then the nose and tail went up into the air and while I was sleeping I could feel the death glare through the door at me.

Okay. I exaggerate some. Pita actually came and slept with me this morning after I let him out of the bathroom. I think he's most irritated by the alternative litter box he has to use. Cats can't use regular litter after a declawing, because the litter gets into their paws and seriously irritates them so they have to use shredded newspaper or this other litter stuff. Its actually shredded newspaper made into little pellets. Most interesting, but Pita isnt going for it. Poor woogie. :-(

He, like Spooky, didnt move around too much last evening or during the night which was to be expected but I was slightly worried because the vet said he hadnt eaten any food while he was at the office. Pita also ignored the food and water dish last night up until early this morning, which really worried me. He should have had something, even just a little nibble. But the second time I woke up he was crunching and slurping away, so that was a big worry off my shoulder. There is a risk of depression with cats after they've been declawed, and that would just be the worst for Pita. He's so active and alert, it would seriously break my heart if he became depressed over this.

Christmas shopping is almost done. That's always an exciting feeling. I have my father in law, my sister, and my aunt. Hank is getting a honking gift certificate to Lowe's. I know he'll use it, and its better than me scrambling trying to figure which tool he needs this week to work in the yard. My sister is getting a bunch of clothes, she's outgrown all of her old ones and she needs some shorts and shirts that fit. Her belly was hanging out of her clothes, and she's not a fat kid but it made her look really sloppy and slobby. My aunt, she's a tricksey one. I know she needs a radio but I dont want to get her something she'll expect. The problem is that my aunt, like Cris, has five of everything. They come from the old school where if it still works, you dont throw it out. And I dont want to get her more crap to lug around. Maybe I'll get her a radio and a gift certificate to the fabric store up her way. I hate doing gift certificates, really I do. But, sometimes its the best thing you can give someone.

The tree is going up this weekend. I hope Pita doesnt try and climb it but I thoroughly expect him to play baseball with the bulbs on the tree. Its like a right of passage for any kitten's first Christmas. I started wrapping everything I've gotten this year already. Man, I got so lucky too shopping wise. I try and pick up things over the year here and there for Christmas but this year was a total dry spell. I found nothing that I thought so and so would like. So its the day after Thanksgiving and Steve is poking me to get out of bed. All I wanted to do was sleep, but he's like "honey, go now and you can do the bulk of your shopping and get good deals." Yeah me and every other freaking person in my area was out at 5a.m. I took one look at the lines at Best Buy and Walmart, laughed, and drove to Kmart.

I expected Kmart to be busy, but, they were a total ghost town. The customer service still blows, the check out still took too long, and the store still looked run down and yucky but hey! I can live with all of that if its not bumper to bumper buggies. And surprise surprise I found almost all of my gifts there. Some of them were on sale, a lot werent but again, I cannot stress how wonderful it was not to be elbow to elbow or fighting over the last sale item. So, here's a tip kiddies, shop your local sucky store this year instead of fighting with every other asshole in Walmart. It will save you money on Tums. :-)

Yep yep. I want to go play World of Warcraft now. I've spent too much time blogging as it is. Now thats addiction! *giggle*

Crummy

I took Pita to the vet yesterday morning. The difference in him was like night and day. The last time I took him to the vet he was maybe just under 3 months old. I couldnt hold on to him for the excitement. In the car, he wanted to look out and around and check things out. This time, I couldnt hold on to him because he was scared. I mean, petrified, tense, howling scared.

Taking him into the vets office was the worst. They put him back in this cage, and I could hear this stupid dog barking and he started crying again. It broke my heart. The vet called last night and he went through surgery fine, they said he was sleeping okay and would give me a call in the morning to let me know how the night went.

He went in for neutering and declawing. I do not like declawing cats, and I wouldnt have except that he plays too rough with Spooky. And, since I had Spooky declawed because she stopped delineating what was okay to scratch and what wasnt, I couldnt let him keep his claws and terrorize her. Well, that and the fact that he still climbs the curtains.

I pick him up tonight. I hope he'll still speak to me but its quite possible he wont.

The weather's been reflecting my mood. Really foggy, funky, rainy. I like this kind of weather but it definitely invites deep thoughts on my part. Usually in the morning, under 23490876 blankets all toasty and warm, looking out at the sky my mind starts turning things over. This morning I started thinking about my mother, and the last phone conversation we had.

There were two parts that stuck out in my head, and it all started with religion. I havent talked to my mom a whole lot about what I'm going through, because she isnt where I'm at, this isnt a shared thing. And, she's still the mom and some parts of me want to think that she still knows everthing I guess.

So we were chatting and somehow my faith came up and she said something like, "well you have to be bothered that I'm living in sin because of the sacrifices you've made in your own life." (Bean you know what she's talking bout here when she says sacrifices) I'm not bothered that she's living with Kevin, and they're having sex outside of marriage. Well, thats not exactly true, because I am bothered although not for religious reasons and not its not the extra marital sex or whatever. Plus, my mom is still married so. Thats like, adultery but anyway thats not whats bothering me.

What's getting to me, and this has nothing to do with sin or what I think is right and wrong, is that she keeps calling Kevin her husband. My mother is still married to my stepfather and has been for like, over 15 years. She never bothered to get a divorce, hell I dont even know if they are legally separated. The problem is that she's claiming something that isnt hers. She hasnt worked for a wedding, or made sacrifices to get married. Like, Kevin has a lot of debt, and she keeps saying that they cant get married til he claims bankruptcy but they never make plans to claim bankruptcy or to pay off his debt.

Steve and I have given up a lot of things so we can get married. His boat is not going into the water again this year, we have to pay off a significant amount of debt of mine before we can marry, we're going to premarital counseling so we can make this work. The point is, we're making this happen. We're doing the work to get married and stay married, and she's just walking around calling Kevin her husband like its nothing. Like its just another pair of shoes.

I wouldnt doubt that Kevin is the man she's going to spend the rest of her life with. The point is that she's taking credit for something she hasnt worked for, something that Steve and I are putting a lot of effort into, and it irritates me. It lessens what Steve and I are going through. Why dont we just stop everything and call each other hubby and wifey and let my debt lie, put his boat in the water and stop going to couseling? I mean, if she can claim it without the work, so can I right?

The second thing, that irritated me, was while we were talking she kept saying that she didnt want my religion to come between us. I was just like, "has it yet?" I mean, really, because it hasnt. If anything its forced me to be more honest with her, and thats going to be a double edged sword but atleast its an honest one. I have spoken my mind more with her, my religion hasnt kept me from my mom at all and she was making it sound as if I had joined a cult or something that wouldnt let me talk to my mommy anymore because she's a dirty sinner. It was so over the moon ridiculous I wanted to throw the phone out the window.

Crummy.

Thanksgiving to be Thankful for

As I mentioned in my previous blog, Thanksgiving went really well this year. Silence is a cooks highest compliment, and I got about 30 seconds of nothing but forks on the plate. As for Steve helping, he did help. He stayed the hell out of my way and emptied the garbage can when I asked him too. What more could I ask for? Seriously.

I think I've mentioned this before, but for any new readers, Steve has two half sisters still in the Phillipines. Steve's mother Cris left them behind when she married Steve's dad. Anyway, I'll get into that more a little bit later. Cora is one of Steve's sisters, and her husband called this Thanksgiving. The phone rang, and the caller id picked up as an unknown number, so none of us picked up til we heard him speaking on the answering machine. What a surprise that was! Steve talked to him for a little while, then his sister Cora too. I could tell it was a good conversation, because he was happy when he got off the phone. The family over there heard Steve was getting married and they wanted to congratulate him.

The economy in the Phillipines is terrible. There is no middle class to speak of, really. Its poverty, or stinking rich. Its very hard to find jobs, most Phillipinos went overseas to work but that has all but stopped with the war. Steve sends money to his sisters every month, and it helps them a lot. Its not a whole lot to us, but it will buy them groceries for the month and help pay other bills. Cora is pretty inventive when it comes to making extra money. Before the war they earned extra money by writing up documents for Phillipino citizens to work in other countries. Now, they recently bought a Phillipino country version of a convenience store and a water truck. The convenience store is for those who cannot walk all the way to the nearest town to buy important supplies. In many parts of the area they are in its impossible to get fresh water, so they drive around the truck selling water to people that need it.

We buy holiday chocolate the day after, when its been marked down and blue jeans to send to them so they can sell it on their version of the black market. I guess that stuff is hard to come by over there, where here we can buy it, no, afford it every day.

It was good to hear from them, and to know that they are doing well. That's what got me thinking about what I'm really grateful for. I was born in America. I literally have no door closed to me if I'm willing to work hard enough for it. I never had to worry about moving somewhere where the economy was better. I never had to consider leaving my family to make a better life for myself. Cris is the biggest hugest family person you will ever find. She loves her children, her grandchildren, her whole family. She lives for her family. So when I learned of Cora and Cynthia in the Phillipines it kind of blew my mind. It was such an anti-Cris thing to do. As I began to learn more about the Phillipines though, I realized that the best thing she could do for her children was leave to make a better life in America. How crappy is that? To have to leave your children behind so you know they'll have a better life? I'm so thankful I'll never have to make that choice.

I'm also thankful to a man named Bill Green. He dated my mother when I was very young, and after they broke up he sent me cards on every holiday and my birthday for years. It meant so much, especially now, that someone outside of my warped family cared enough to send me cards. Not only did he remember me, he made it a point to know what my address was, because it changed frequently. I remember that he bought me a kitten one year for Christmas. I remember driving in his car, and he would quiz me on who was singing on the radio. Not that it was hard, it was always the Who. I remember the puppy dog lunchbox he bought me, and the snakeskin sneakers. I wanted them so bad and my mom wouldnt think of blowing that much money, but he bought them for me. And those sneakers were fragging hideous. Now that's love.

I also want to apologize to Kathleen. The things I did, that you got the reaction from were inexcusable. I am so sorry for what I did, what I said, and what came of everything that happened. I never should have interfered. Now that I have what I have, I realize what I destroyed. I am very very sorry.

Well, thats it for blogging today, kids. Brenda, I havent gotten a life. Well, unless you count a video game character a life.